Friday, October 7, 2011

Journey of Life...twin babes!

As I sit here, 12 weeks pregnant with our amazing twin babes, I can't help but think of Warner. I remember feeling the same excited, happy emotions that I am going through now. 12 WEEKS. We made it! Especially after the last two miscarriages we have experienced, this seems like a big deal. I am so happy to be here. I am so grateful that they are both safe. So far so good. At the same time, I long for Warner. I long to have my 17 month old baby running around my house like a mad man, experiencing this all with Cody and I. I want to explain to him that there are babies in mommy's belly...I have to remember that he knows that though. He is watching over our every move, just from a distance. I think I just know what an amazing blessing he would be to us on earth. If Heavenly Father needed him so badly, I can only imagine what WE WOULD HAVE LEARNED from Warner in this life! I know that he is working hard in heaven, anxiously awaiting our arrival, and hopefully preparing his future siblings to come here, and...to STAY for a while!

So many thoughts are going through my head. A dear friend told me today that I need to be recording this journey we are on. I knew, at the moment, she was talking about this journey of pregnancy. The feelings, the emotions, the physical joys and hardships. But, I couldn't help but think to myself, "I need to record our JOURNEY OF LIFE." Sometimes I am great at this, sometimes I fail. I fall into the path of most online journalers...I ALWAYS share the positive. I share the fun, the laughs, the travels, the events. It is hard, though, to overcome the fears of opening your heart to the world. ON the flip side, it is comforting to me when people tell the truth. The real truth.

The last 12 weeks have gone by S.L.O.W. We obviously were having problems getting pregnant, then keeping a pregnancy for the long haul. So, we decided to start infertility treatments. Which means, from day 1 in that hospital room, we knew that we "might" be pregnant. Day 7, my sciatic starting aching, so that was a GREAT sign (For some strange reason this happens to me early in pregnancies). Day 11, I took a pregnancy test (3 days early) and it was positive! We were at a cabin with all of Cody's family, but I only told him. I even woke him up at 6am with a big, fat kiss! He knew right away what that meant. Day 14, I took another test, and we announced it to the fam. His entire family was there. I cannot believe the love that was in that room. Tears were lacing everyone's eyes, if they weren't running down their cheeks. We knew there was a long road ahead, and that we had all these people right behind us on the trek. Bert offered a beautiful blessing, adding us to the list of necessities. When we made it out of the mountains the next day, we told my family and a few close friends who knew we were shooting for the stars just 14 days prior.

Since then, the day by day has been FULL of well, everything. Happy, HAPPY emotions just like the naive girl I was when I was 12 weeks pregnant with Warner. Tears. Tears of worry, anxious tears, tears of fear. 

Today, though, I have both. Happy, happy tears of joy for being 12 weeks along. VERY HAPPY TEARS! And, the few tears of sadness I shed as I read some of Warner's blog posts. It is amazing how often I refer back to those posts for strength, comfort, and meditation. All the more reason to record this journey, as well. And hopefully I will learn my lesson, and really continue to record our journey of life.

I had reservations on sharing our experience with the everyone. This sounds crazy, but especially with those around us. I wasn't sure how they would react. When Warner was born and passed, so many people  shared their thoughts and sympathies in many different ways. Some good, some bad. I have come across people I rarely speak with that have CRIED as they have learned of our pregnancy. Literal tears of happiness for us, someone they barely know, but somehow can feel empathy and compassion for. I pray that I can feel for others as deeply as these women have expressed they feel for me.

IF you are happy for us, if you have cried tears for us, we thank you. But most of all, we ask for your PRAYERS. The more the better. We know the road ahead we cannot control, but we have been through alot, and we KNOW that the LORD is right by our side through it all. The ups, the downs, the tears, and the smiles. I can't wait to experience them all.

If it is anything like our journey with Warner, we are going to learn more than we ever imagined.

We are going to grow closer and closer through each up, and through each down.

We will feel the comfort of our Father in Heaven around each bend.

The encompassing love from prayers offered will change our every action and emotion.

We will be blessed with a family for eternity, not just the here and now.

It's amazing. As I wrote each of those, they all applied to these sweet, living babies in my tummy; but also, to our sweet, spirit of a Son, waiting for us on the other side. I am so grateful for my eternal family.

The Details:
~Due Date: April 18, 2012 (C-section probably at the end of March, however)
~Latest ultrasound: Today! The babes were great, both just moving around in there! One was punching the air, wiggling arms like crazy! The other was sucking their thumb, bobbing the head right along with the sucking! It is so fun to see them in there, healthy and happy.
~YES, IT IS TWO: Double the joy, double the poop, half the sleep, double the feedings, double the smiles, double the messes, double the giggles, double the happiness we will feel for getting to experience all of those DOUBLES!
~Identical: probably not, but there is always a chance, less than 5% chance. They each have their own sac, own placenta, so that is good. They are each receiving their own nutrition from mommy, so no sharing!
~Approximate size of mommy: hmm...wait and see, I guess! I am thinking, well, BIG! I am about the size at 12 weeks as I was at 20 weeks with Warner, so, take that and let your imagination run...
~Physical feeling: Can't complain. Nausiousness here and there, as long as I eat every 2.5 hours I am good to go. My sciatic is getting pretty bad, however. Hopefully is doesn't increase! Headaches are on and off, just like with Warner. 2nd trimester was bad for headaches with him though, so we will see what these babies do!
~Working? Yes, Yes, and Yes. Hair, photography and surgical assisting are still going strong! I hope to continue through my entire pregnancy. I just hate being bored, and work helps solve that problem.
~Next Appointment: regular OB, 2 weeks. Perinatologist, 4 weeks. 

On with the journey!

33 comments:

Ashley Wray said...

Chels and Cody, we are beyond thrilled for you guys! I loved this post and everything about it. I too do the "everything is happy and sunshine" blog posts most of the time, but I love reading posts that are so real, just like this one!
So glad you have hit the 12 week mark and that all is well. We will be keeping you in our prayers, and I think you need to post a belly shot! I'm sure Warner is preparing these 2 sweet babies with everything they need to know before officially coming into the family :)

Mark, Stef, and Grace said...

Chels, I cannot express how HAPPY I am for you and Cody! Twins! You deserve to have two wonderful little babies! Prayers will for sure be coming your way! I can't stop smiling right now, I'm just so happy and excited for you. I'm so glad you and the babies are doing well. I sure miss you and think about you all the time. Congrats again, and I can't wait to hear all the updates. Love you!!

Ariel said...

Congrats! Praying for you!

Teddy, Scott, & baby Jane said...

YEA! Oh it's gonna be good times. Kiss pinterest goodbye :)

Heather Lively said...

CONGRATULATIONS! We are so excited for you guys!

Lauren said...

Oh my goodness! Chelsea, I'm sooo happy for you and Cody. Prayers for you, too. Love you guys!

Jessi said...

SO wonderful!!!

The Wigginton Family said...

Oh my goodness Chelsea. You do not know how happy this post has made me. I am so happy for you guys, and those lucky little babies that will be joining your family soon. Thank you for the strength you have shared with me through your blog posts--you're awesome. And I know Warner is so excited for his family to be growing as well. We share a birthday you know, so I think about him often. I am sure he is beautiful and perfect. We love you!

scott & ashley said...

We are so happy and excited for you guys! You are so blessed!

Marjie said...

Tears of JOY streaming down my face! I am so excited for these sweet babies to join our families.Love you all.

Amanda Evans said...

Yay! Yay! Yay! Congratulations!

Bryce and Miranda said...

What exciting news! Bryce and I are excited for you.

Tammy said...

What wonderful news! I am so happy for you, and I will keep you and Cody in my prayers. Thank you for sharing!

Amy said...

Your bittersweet emotions of this post are ones that have every right to be felt and contemplated. I think your head is in the right place. Warner's spirit will be with you in that delivery room cheering you on and joining his eternal family in welcoming his siblings! Congratulations and best of luck in the rest of your pregnancy! I will of course be saying a prayer for you!

Barratt Family said...

oh my goodness im sooo excited!!! congratulation! twins will be twice the fun! we need to video chat soon!

Bryce and Kathleen said...

Twins!! I am so happy for you Chelsea! And I am so glad you are sharing your story. You are amazing and have always been such a great example to me. Good luck with everything and know that we are praying for you!

easay said...

I can not adequately describe my happiness for you! You two are wonderful parents and I'm so excited to meet them!

Kirsta and Morian said...

Congrats on the pregnancy! And good luck with the 2 little ones on the way! Chelsea, I marvel at your strength and positive attitude. You are such a good person! (If you don't remember me- I'm Maren's sister, from Belmont in Provo.)

Michel said...

Chelsea and Cody, I am SO happy for you. You have the most beautiful attitude and are an inspiration to me. You will be in our prayers and I can't wait to see pictures of you as these sweet babies grow. Love Michel W.

Chelsea said...

I started tearing up at the word TWINS. The water works just progressed from there! You really have a way with words, lady - I feel like I'm right there with you, cheering you on through this journey! I wish I was there to give you a big hug and pat your little belly! (cuz don'tcha just love it when people do that?!) :) Seriously - sososo happy for you. We'll be praying for you to continue to have a healthy pregnancy, and a safe delivery this Spring! Yay for twins!!
PS - My favorite twin-book (and I read literally a few dozen of them) is called Mothering Multiples by Karen Gromada. If you have any free time between all that WORK, check it out :)

Dan and Katie said...

So excited! I cried through your whole post--I love you!

adorable pearsons said...

Hooray Hooray Hooray! We are so excited for you two and the two babes! I loved this post and felt of your honesty. Your sweet Warner is lucky to have such wonderful parents. He will always be your first child, and a sweet angel one at that. We will pray for things to continue to go well. We so love you. ps. My siatic nerve killed all through with Charlotte. I've never had pain like that. However, a few months after having her it healed a ton...so there is hope! We love love love you all (all 5 of you)!

adorable pearsons said...

Hooray Hooray Hooray! We are so excited for you two and the two babes! I loved this post and felt of your honesty. Your sweet Warner is lucky to have such wonderful parents. He will always be your first child, and a sweet angel one at that. We will pray for things to continue to go well. We so love you. ps. My siatic nerve killed all through with Charlotte. I've never had pain like that. However, a few months after having her it healed a ton...so there is hope! We love love love you all (all 5 of you)!

Emily said...

Yay! Yay! I am DOUBLE excited about your GREAT news! That is so exciting. Twins.... Wow... You are going to be so busy, but you of all people will be amazing with twins. Thank you for sharing all of that. Warner is lucky to have you as a mom.

Jayson and Julianne said...

Congratulations!!!!! Scott had mentioned something when we saw him in Midway a few weeks ago, but I didn't believe it until I saw your post. I seriously could not be happier for you and Cody. I will keep you and the little peanuts in my prayers. I am excited to follow your journey. Lots of love!

Mark and Mary said...

When you told me the other day that younger pregnant with twins, I was and am seriously super excited for you guys! Thank you for sharing your thoughts and experiences. I'm it's not always easy but I learn so much from you and your inspiring example. When we moved here it was like a week after you had Warner and when we talked and hung out a bit at a ward party, I remember thinking how incredibly nice and positive you were! And this was so soon after losing Warner and I had no idea about him til months later. You are awesome and deserve so much happiness! Sorry this is so long, but I just wanted you to know that.

Allison said...

Thank you for being willing to share these more personal thoughts and feelings. I am so happy for you both! Can't wait to hear more! All four of you will be in my prayers!

Jenny & Tanner said...

Congratulations to you guys! I was so excited when tanner told me he saw your post and your good news. I wish we could have had a chance to talk when I saw you at the temple last month, but it was so good to see you. And I'm so glad things are going well for you guys. Thanks for your wonderful posts!

KyleandAmanda said...

We are so excited for you two! You will all be in our prayers!

Jess said...

Chelsea, I am so happy for you and Cody. And we will be sending prayers your way too. Thanks for being so open about your journey. It's been so long since I've seen you and chatted. I think it was lunch in Billings before you got married. It's been nice to follow your journey and get to know you again. Much love, Jessica

GG Doll said...

Chelsea & Cody - congratulations - we are praying for healthy strong babies. I know when Tim and Traci's twin girls were born what a thrill they will be 3 on 10/14/11. You take care of yourself - we love reading your blog and the strength and faith you have.

Love always, me... said...

I love reading your blogs Chels: ) You are an inspiration in everyday life with EVERYTHING you do! Warner is so lucky to have you and these babies are lucky to have you too. They will live everyday knowing what an amazing big brother Warner was and how much he means to you and your family. I can not wait to read you journey. It is going to be so so special! xoxoxoxox

Kassi F.

ensadler said...

Oh man how I miss Warner! I never thought me just an "Aunt" would miss him. There are days he comes to mind and I just cry because I miss that boy. I love that kid just as my own. Strange, possibly, but it is the truth. I am so glad that I was able to share in his journey. He gave me such an appriciation for so many things. I will never forget! It was awesome to see how strong you and Cody were also.
I am so sad I am not there for this pregnancy! But I am so so so happy that you are pregnant again. We pray for you, Cody and the babies! I love to say babies! I am so happy that this has come again and I am so excited for their arrival! Miss you more than you know! Loves!