Happy Birthday to Warner

Can you believe it? It has been one year today since our sweet Warner joined our family. For all of you, I am sure you would say that this year has just "Flown by"...not so much for us. I am not going to lie, this has definitely been the hardest year of our lives. Through losing Warner, then struggling to get pregnant, and losing two other pregnancies, I would say it has been a tough year for us.
Part of me wants to say that I am tucked in my bed crying my eyes out today, but that is just not the reality. I have been dreading today for weeks. So, in turn, for weeks, my eyes have been laced with tears here and there. However, when I woke up this morning, tears did not come to my eyes. I smiled.
Similarly, the weeks leading up to Warner's birth my eyes were laced with tears. I was scared of the unknown, of meeting our little man and not knowing how long we had with him. The morning of his birth, May 7, 2010, however, tears did not come to my eyes. I smiled.
It is amazing the comfort that surrounds us. There is really no sadness in not being able to celebrate Warner's 1 year birthday today. There is so much peace. A friend told me that "Warner is a mighty missionary and angel on the other side". I think that is a perfect description. It might sound crazy, but it just wouldn't feel right if he was here. We miss him, but we know that Warner is exactly where he needs to be. Our Heavenly Father needed him by His side to help and love those on the other side. We know that he is doing such amazing work that he never would have accomplished here on earth. We know that we have a perfect child waiting for us to come to him in heaven. We have so much to do to be worthy to raise him after this life! We can't wait. We can't wait to hold him and chat with him, and play a round or two of golf:) We can't wait for our family to all be together again...Warner, our future kiddos, and us, after this life, for all of eternity.
So through the tears, there are so many smiles. We have only happy memories of our time with Warner, and feel so blessed to be his parents. We are so excited to someday get to add to our little family and know that our Savior will be by our side through it all. We are so thankful for the love of our wonderful friends and family, they have helped us get through our day to day struggles this past year and have supported all of our decisions and trials. We love you all, and love our Sweet Baby Boy! So...no tears, just smile!