Saturday, May 7, 2011

Happy Birthday to Warner

Can you believe it? It has been one year today since our sweet Warner joined our family. For all of you, I am sure you would say that this year has just "Flown by"...not so much for us. I am not going to lie, this has definitely been the hardest year of our lives. Through losing Warner, then struggling to get pregnant, and losing two other pregnancies, I would say it has been a tough year for us.
Part of me wants to say that I am tucked in my bed crying my eyes out today, but that is just not the reality. I have been dreading today for weeks. So, in turn, for weeks, my eyes have been laced with tears here and there. However, when I woke up this morning, tears did not come to my eyes. I smiled.
Similarly, the weeks leading up to Warner's birth my eyes were laced with tears. I was scared of the unknown, of meeting our little man and not knowing how long we had with him. The morning of his birth, May 7, 2010, however, tears did not come to my eyes. I smiled.
It is amazing the comfort that surrounds us. There is really no sadness in not being able to celebrate Warner's 1 year birthday today. There is so much peace. A friend told me that "Warner is a mighty missionary and angel on the other side". I think that is a perfect description. It might sound crazy, but it just wouldn't feel right if he was here. We miss him, but we know that Warner is exactly where he needs to be. Our Heavenly Father needed him by His side to help and love those on the other side. We know that he is doing such amazing work that he never would have accomplished here on earth. We know that we have a perfect child waiting for us to come to him in heaven. We have so much to do to be worthy to raise him after this life! We can't wait. We can't wait to hold him and chat with him, and play a round or two of golf:) We can't wait for our family to all be together again...Warner, our future kiddos, and us, after this life, for all of eternity.
So through the tears, there are so many smiles. We have only happy memories of our time with Warner, and feel so blessed to be his parents. We are so excited to someday get to add to our little family and know that our Savior will be by our side through it all. We are so thankful for the love of our wonderful friends and family, they have helped us get through our day to day struggles this past year and have supported all of our decisions and trials. We love you all, and love our Sweet Baby Boy! So...no tears, just smile!

15 comments:

Marjie said...

I've had a FEW tears. I will smile now with the beautiful tribute that you just posted. Love to you both.

Ashley Wray said...

You caused a few tears in my eyes, what a beautiful post. And so so true! Thinking of you all today, love ya!

Bart said...

I have always told you this, but you are such an inspiration with your positive outlook on life. You have had your fair share of challenges this past year that no one but you and Cody can totally understand, and you always come through with a positive attitude. I have always looked up to you so much for that. There is no doubt he is a GREAT missionary. Thank you for the post. What a sweet little guy he is. This is actually EMILY by the way, I am just signed in as Bart for some reason.

Mark, Stef, and Grace said...

Chels! I love you. What a nice post. Happy Birthday Warner! You are so strong and you truly inspire me. We miss you! =)

Joan said...

Chelsea and Cody, you are a very special couple. You are so loved because you love others so much.

chelsea mckell said...

Wow, that's seriously such an amazing attitude you have. And a beautiful thought, of him being a missionary on the other side sharing the gospel. Losing TWO more pregnancies?! Oh Chels, I'm so so sorry. You've definitely had more than your share of trials. It seems so unfair... but the Lord's in control, and I know it will all be right in the end.

Mark and Mary said...

Hey Chelsea. I just wanted u to know that I've been thinking about u a lot lately, knowing u lost your little Warner this time last year. You have such an amazing strength and an inspiring attitude. I feel blessed to be able to call u my friend.

Dan and Katie said...

What a neat post. You are the best and I hope you know I have been thinking about your little family this weekend! I love you!

Lacee said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
scott & ashley said...

What a beautiful post, you are so amazing Chelsea!

Jordan and Crystal said...

Beautiful chels! You amaze me...Can I be like you when I grow up?

Jamie said...

This was such a beautiful post. I don't really know how to put what I felt while reading it into words, because everything you wrote is so sweet and real and deeply heartfelt.
You know, I'm sure though that Warner is celebrating the day he met both of you a year ago. I think that feeling of happiness and peace that you felt on his birthday is his gift to you.

Jamie said...

Also, I wanted to offer some support if you need it. I lost a pregnancy a few months ago, and know of the pain and sorrow that accompanies those experiences. Know you're not alone and that I am here if you need to talk.
jamiewagner429@gmail.com

*BIG HUGS*

--Jamie

The Jay Stott Fam said...

Chelsea,
You're a rock. Thanks for sharing your great faith and hope. We love you.
Uncle Jay and Aunt Marsha

Jessi said...

beautiful post!